I’m a bum.

That’s all. I am doing everything I can to avoid work right now. Facebook, reading blogs, catching up on State Football, drinking chamomile tea with the hopes of falling asleep soon. That’s all I really want to do–sleep! I hate days like this…

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Ups and Downs

This weekend, even this day, has been full of ups and downs.

Ups:

  • I got my tax refund check in the mail Friday. Then, I got my Economic Stimulus check today. Whoo-hoo! I will be able to pay off my Master’s classes before the beginning of next year! Why did it take so long to receive these checks? Let’s just say taxes and I don’t get along…
  • The kiddos did very well on Friday night and Saturday night. They hammed it up, spoke louder, acted more, and tried harder as per our requests. It’s amazing how they’ll come through for you at the last minute!
  • I got a 96% on my Theories of Rhetoric and Composition paper, making my final grade in that class an A! Refund check from my school district coming soon!!
  • My English colleague, Andrea, and her husband David bought me a beautiful boquet of fall flowers on Friday “for all my hard work for the play…”  It was very nice for my work to be recognized!

Downs:

  • Mom called and informed me of the extra $100 on my cell bill this month. Darn texting! I need to get the My Circle texting plan so Jonathan and I can text without being charged. Mom thinks I text like a college student :)  I blame it on Jonathan’s ups and downs. :)  So there goes part of that stimulus check?
  • There weren’t as many people at the shows as we’d hoped. Could’ve been because the price increased this year…
  • I have to grade Persuasive Essays tomorrow. They really need to be done by Monday. However, now that I think about it, I received them on Wednesday. Shouldn’t I get a week to grade 22 four to eight page essays? I think so….especially during performance week!

Well, that’s the ups and downs. I know they’re really insignificant and mundane to the average person, but, as I tell my mom: “Welcome to my boring existence!”

Here’s an attempt at uploading a photo on WordPress. My flowers:

Aren't they pretty?
Aren

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe

“Letting Go” by Francesca Battistelli
My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

(Chorus)
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
I’m losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

(Chorus)

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

(Chorus)

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me
(Francesca Battistelli / Ian Eskelin / Tony Wood) © 2008 Word Music, LLC (ASCAP) / Bridge Designer Music, Inc., Honest and Popular Songs (SESAC) (Adm. by Multisongs, Inc) / New Spring Publishing Inc., Row 9 Seat J Songs (ASCAP)

I love this song! Battistelli has a rich, almost 1940s sound to her voice. And the song, though it talks about something that’s kind of serious, is very upbeat and carefree. Some songs are like that, and I think it’s strange. For example, Mercy Me’s “So Long Self” is full of lighthearted rhythms and melodies, yet it’s talking about a radical and extreme attitude to life–not thinking about yourself. That’s not a common attitude in America today. But, back to “Letting Go.” I think I like it so much because I’ve been holding on so tightly to the dreams that I have for my life–namely getting married, having kiddos, having a nice house stocked with normal kitchen utensils that work and match :) and having the perfect job (or being the perfect teacher). This song prompts me to just let go of it! God has a plan, and I don’t need to worry about it or stress over it or get depressed about it. His plans for my life are far better than the meager ones I can dream up. And, He knows exactly what I need (and, truly, He is the only one who can find it for me!).

One quote that reminds me of this mindset of sacrifice I found in Corrie Ten Boom’s “The Hiding Place” (a book you MUST read!). She says, “I hold all things loosely; that way, it doesn’t hurt so bad when God pries my fingers off of them.”  So, I’m letting go!

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