Spring Break is officially over for me. I am going back to my house tomorrow. I really really really don’t want to go back! The two weeks before Spring Break were very difficult at school. I struggled with many different things that made me question whether or not to continue in the job I’m currently in. To add to it, I was also really homesick. I just plain needed a break. All I wanted to do was go home.
So, as soon as possible, I did go home. And, I haven’t done much that deals with school over break (unlike my last two years of teaching breaks). I think part of the issue is that I’m completely burnt out. I’ve spent that past 2 1/2 years constantly working. After school, I would sit and catch up on grading, plan for the next day, or work on any of the other activities I had going on. Then, I would go home and work some more (or, worse yet, GO BACK to the school!!).
One of my friends said, “I can’t imagine going BACK to work.” I think I thought to myself, “Oh, going back to work is no problem.” But, today, I say, “Oh, just go home and catch up tomorrow.”
I’m a bit noncommittal right now. My stomach actually turns and flips at the thought of Monday. I’m praying that God will show me whether or not to continue where I am. All the doubting times I’ve had this year have been squelched at some point during the school day when a student “got it” or a lesson was successful and fun or a colleague brightened my day. But this is the biggest doubting time I’ve had yet, and I want to be sure that I don’t let my emotions determine what I do.
So, back to the drawing board, I guess. Whoo-hoo…