Online dating isn’t something I thought I’d ever try, but after three months of trying it out, I’m wondering why I didn’t do this sooner. I’ve always lived in a small town with small populations of males my age, and I have rarely gone “out” to meet people (whatever that means–I guess I’m picturing the stereotypical twenty-something crowd that goes bar-hopping looking for people of the opposite sex to date). That was never me, and it never will be me. So, for the last six years, online dating might have been really good for me, even if I was a little busy with my Master’s and the process of learning how to teach. But, for whatever reason, I only just started to try it.
It’s interesting to think about those reasons. For one, I was mortified at the thought of someone finding out I was clicking away on people’s profiles in search for a date. It seemed desperate, a little creepy, and more like something for people much older than me. Another reason I avoided it is that I convinced myself I didn’t need online dating to help find somebody. It was a little prideful, actually, thinking, “I’m above God making that my story.” There was an blog post from Boundless that really confirmed how wrong this thinking was. http://www.boundlessline.org/2011/10/engagement-stories-aurora-kenneth.html Yet another (and probably the biggest) reason for not trying online dating was that I was a little embarrassed to admit I had a “problem” (i.e. not having a boyfriend/fiancee/husband at my age). Speaking of age, the median age for women to get married now is 26. I’m 28. So, it just confirms what we always knew, right? I’m above average. :) Anyway, up until this year, I have been very quiet about my desire to get married and have a family. Maybe I felt like I needed to put up a more independent front. Maybe I felt like people would feel sorry for me if I talked about it.This summer, during a family prayer time when everyone was home, I asked my family to pray that I would find a husband soon. Of course, mom has been praying for this for years, as I have, but it was affirming and healthy for me to tell it to my family. There is nothing wrong with letting people know you want to get married.
Now, don’t get me wrong here, thinking, “Oh, poor girl. She’s desperate to be married.” I’ve grown up around many people older than me who didn’t get married until after 30 (and even 40), so it wasn’t like I didn’t think it wasn’t going to happen eventually. I hadn’t (and still haven’t) hit the panic button. (Ummm…..actually I won’t ever hit the panic button because I have faith that God knows what is best for me at any given moment, and right now that’s being single). I’m so content and blessed in my life as it is right now. Still, I definitely recognize the ways in which life would be so much better married and starting a family. Being alone is boring!
So, why online dating? Basically, I believe God can and will use whatever means (even technological) currently available to move us along in His will. Does that mean I’m going to meet someone online? Not necessarily. Even if I don’t, I already know I will have been blessed by the experience and learned a little about myself in the process. Just in three months, I’ve been both blessed and, it would seem, a bit cursed, as I learn how to go about this process. That’s probably all you need to know about that. ;) More about the details later.
This all plays into the end of the year really well. I am finishing up yet another year after high school of being single. On some days, when I am free to wander around Barnes & Noble at my leisure, pick up and leave at the drop of a hat, or spend inordinate amounts of time reading or working on the latest project as school, the single life is a wonderful gift. On other days, when I come home from a big event to an empty apartment, sit and eat alone at a restaurant (worst thing ever!), or get asked (for the billionth time) why a “young, pretty thing” like me isn’t married, being single is a depressing and difficult experience.
Still, regardless of what happens, I always know that God is right there, and He truly provides me with comfort on the tough days. One of the best was this past Valentine’s Day, an experience I have been a bit too self-conscious to share up until now. I had walked back up to the school to get something, and when I walked out of the building and headed west, I was blessed by this gorgeous sunset. It seemed that God was speaking directly to me, saying, “I Love You.” He knows His children intimately and speaks to them in ways that are perfect just for them. That was the best Valentine’s Day gift ever!
So, I’m soon headed into another year of the single life. I hope it is full of adventure and love!